Therapy Guide - How to pick a therapist

The relationship matters- studies show how you get along with your therapist matters more than their ‘theoretical orientation’. Any therapist should have an easy way to have a quick chat to see if you are a match. Basically, make sure you get along well. A good therapist can make you feel at ease quickly.

Make sure they;

  1. Offer an upfront resume for you to check out.

  2. Are part of a regulatory body

  3. They have reasonable work experience

  4. Answer any questions about the approaches they offer

  5. Will give you a free consult ahead of time

  6. Offer their consent, terms and pricing upfront

  7. Have sought their own therapy to ensure they are aware of their own blind spots

Besides knowing what you DO want, there are also warning signs to look our for. Here is a list of overt and subtle signals that it’s time to find someone else.

Here are 36 signs your therapist should be ditched. Buh-Bye

  1. The therapist seems unengaged

  2. They use un researched methods

  3. They push their own agenda, like the sale of a book

  4. They aren’t alert or awake

  5. They talk about themselves too much

  6. They allow a session to drift to non-therapeutic items

  7. They aren’t registered with a regulatory college

  8. They won’t tell you their work history or share a resume

  9. They interrupt you frequently

  10. They are quick to give advice

  11. They seem behaviourally off (act hot and cold or just odd)

  12. They won’t answer questions about whether they get their own support (they should!)

  13. They move at a pace that isn’t working for you

  14. They don’t gain consent to treatment

  15. They don’t show up for scheduled appointments 

  16. They blame you for lack of progress

  17. They don’t set goals and review them 

  18. They are too focused on ‘measuring’ progress

  19. They aren’t able to demonstrate understanding of you and your concerns.

  20. They can’t demonstrate warmth 

  21. They don’t check in with you about how it’s going

  22. They make sexual advances or innuendo 

  23. They try and be friends with you

  24. Impose their own beliefs on you

  25. They shame you

  26. They insinuate something is your fault

  27. They aren’t open to learning from you (you are an expert in your experience)

  28. Push you to talk about things beyond your comfort level

  29. They diagnose you in a hurry

  30. They aren’t able to take feedback (get defensive)

  31. They don’t challenge you (too agreeable)

  32. They push one therapeutic style or only have one approach

  33. They claim they can cure you & quick!

  34. Check the phone or the clock frequently

  35. They don’t receive consultation on a regular basis (go ahead…ask them!)

  36. They can’t tell you what was the last education they engaged in